Try To Love Me And Hate My Depression

Love Me Hate My Depression

First I would like to discuss the clinical side of depression. What is Depression?, Causes, Symptoms, Diagnosis, and treatment.Then I will talk about my personal experience with depression, as well as answer some of the common questions hat most people ask about survivors living with depression.

What Is Depression?

Depression is extreme sadness that last for more than just days. It interferes with your normal daily life and it can also cause physical pain. Depression is also labeled as Clinical Depression, or Major Depressive Disorder. According to the (NIMH) National Institute of Mental Health, in 2014 over 15.7 Million people in the U.S. suffered from at least one Major Depressive episode.

What Are The Causes Of Depression?

There are several causes for Depression, genetics, major illness, social surroundings as well as environmental factors. You may have depression in your family and it is carried down through the generations. Or you could suffer from cancer, or heart disease, a chronic condition. Or you could have major sudden changes in your life, major stresses or trauma. All of these things can cause deep depression in someone.

What Are The Symptoms Of Depression?

  • Loss of Interest
  • Withdrawal from Family and Friends
  • Appetite Changes
  • Thoughts of Death or Suicide
  • Pain, headaches, stomach aches
  • Change in Sleep Pattern
  • Restless, tired, insomnia
  • Angry, irritable
  • Feel Worthless, guilty, helpless
  • Feeling empty, long periods of sadness

What Is The Treatment For Depression?

There are several treatments and combinations that can be used to treat depression. Antidepressants, Psychotherapy, (Cognitive Behavior Therapy & Interpersonal Therapy) * Psychotherapy- looks at specific events in ones life and helps to change, accept or adapt the behavior. * Set Goals * Develop skills like coping, identifying, and prevention * cognitive Behavior therapy – learn to identify and manage negative behavior * Interpersonal therapy – Learn to improve your relationships, family, friends etc. (build social skills & organize their relationships)

My Experience With Depression

Depression for me started when I was very young, a preteen. Depression is something that definitely was genetic in my family. It was present on my mom and my dad’s side of the family. My mom suffered from it, a few of my siblings as well as my dad. Now as far as my family was concerned, depression did not exist, it wasnt a real problem and we should all get on with our lives.
Well for me the reality was, I was not like other kids, I never felt normal and I never felt I fit in. I was angry all the time, sarcastic, pessimistic etc. My mom recognized the signs because she was going through the same thing. But no one would acknowledge it. Not until I was in my early twenties after college did I finally get treatment for my condition. There were years of insecurity, doubt, anger, frustration, pain and suffereing that I went through, even after I started taking the intial medication and seeing psychologist and therapist.
There were many years that followed of deep depression, starting projects and jobs and never finishing any of them. I always had the initial drive and determination but I always ran out of steam midway through my projects. I just never felt energized all the way through. Eventually after years of trial and error, and several doctors later , I finally found a medicinal combination that works for me. there is no cure for depression but there are great medicines and therapist out there that can make the journey a little less intense. Therapy, counseling, psychology which ever type of person works for you , use them and get the help you deserve.

Answers To Common Questions Non-Depressed People Ask

1) Can Depressed people have long term relationships? The answer is yes of course, but it takes a unique, strong, confident individual to be able to handle it. 2) Can people with depression be Doctors and Lawyers? Yes they can, depending on the severity of the depression, the behavior changes and the medical review board and the AMA review board, all of these are factors, but it is possible and more common than you think. 3) Can someone live with depression and survive without taking medication? The answer to that is NO, you can not survive the illness known as depression and come out of it happy and functioning like a normal human being. Most individuals commit suicide early on without support and medication.


“” * Dr’s Laura Mufson, Lynn Bufka, & C. Vaile Wright


  • National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Phone Number 1-800-273-8255 Find out more on: Suicide Prevention Lifeline

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