How To Cope With Being A Teen & Learning Your Mom Is Gay
Coping with teenage life is stressful enough with insecurities, finding yourself and peer pressure. Learning of your mom’s new sexual identity, is a heavy weight to bear, when you have only known your mom to be one way. My Mom Is Gay?
The Day My Mom Told Me She Is Gay
“My Mom Is Gay”
“Suddenly I felt she wasn’t my mum and I couldn’t trust her”
“I said: ‘You know, I found the books’ and that’s when she came out and said: ‘Yeah, I’m having a relationship with Robin,
(Quotes from real women found in the articles listed below)
Being told something that in your opinion seems to have come out of the blue, is a scary, unsure feeling.
How To Deal With The Reaction and Gain Some Sort of Understanding (My Mom Is Gay)
- Receiving the Information: the first time you hear the news, there will definitely be a sense of disbelief, you can’t believe what your hearing, and you want it to stop.
- Then after it starts to settle in your brain you realize that hey wait a minute, this pisses me off . How dare she do this to me, how could you betray me like this?, How could you keep a secret from me?, I don’t know you anymore, you’re not my mom, why did you get married if you knew you were gay?. A whole barrage of questions flood out.
- Then the What If?, If Only I had, these types of questions start to come up. Maybe if I had behaved better, or if I listened to my mom more, or What if Dad wasn’t so closed off. The Bargaining starts to happen, maybe if this then this would happen and mom wouldn’t be gay anymore.
- Then you start to feel sad, my world is ending, everything has changed, I don’t want it change, why does it have to be this way, “life will Never Be The Same”. You start to withdraw, you sink into a deep depression, that you do not see your self coming out of.
- Then you slowly over time start to accept life as it is. These things are really happening. I have to deal with it whether I want to or not. Mom seems happy, I do want her to be happy. Maybe her friend is not so bad. I could look at the positive side, I have two moms. Acceptance.
- Find others that are dealing with the same situation; Self Help Groups, (online and offline), LGBT Communities, Friends, other family members, Teachers that you trust.
- Find a local Therapist, Family Counselor, that can do individual and family counseling. Find someone to talk to as soon as you are able to.
- It is normal to be Angry, or to blame yourself, but know that it isn’t anyone’s fault. This is all apart of life, acceptance, tolerance and love.
- Meditate, Pray, and keep a journal, this is a great way to write anything and everything you want to say to your mom, but may not be ready to at this time.
- Focus on Positive Things in your life, that make you laugh or just make you happy.
- Stay away from drugs and alcohol, this will only increase depression and distort feelings. It can also lead to addiction if it gets out of hand.
- Exercise and Eat, sometimes when you are depressed you have a tendency not to eat, but your body needs nourishment. Also exercising helps to relieve stress, and takes your mind to a different place for a while.
- Loss does not have to only be as a result of someone’s death, it can result from a drastic change, someone turning out not to be who you thought they were, loosing your youth, loosing a major part of who you thought you were, etc.
- Great Articles – http://s.telegraph.co.uk/graphics/projects/gay-parents/index.html
- Communities – COLAGE– Children of LGBT Parents https://familieslikemine.com/
- Meditation Tips – https://theconsciouslife.com/how-to-meditate-a-guide-for-beginners.html
Thank you all for listening, and if this article resonates with you or someone you know, share it please, it may help.
Also let me know in the comments if you have experienced any loss recently and how you are coping with it?